Writing Wednesday (1): Submission & Critique Partners

Yeah, yeah, it's not Wednesday anymore, but I promise to be more on top of this later ;p.  Anyways, the header of my blog says that it's about a quirky girl on writing and reading (despite the name of my blog, ha!), and yet have I truly posted anything about writing? Not unless you count my discussion posts, What's More Important: the Beginning, Middle, or End of a Book? and Five Things I've Found in Romance Novels Which Should Be Applied to YA. 

OHMAHGAWDS, what have I done?!

So today I thought I'd talk about something which has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now:  Submission and the fundamental need for critique partners.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend confessed that he was scared because the only two people he had shown his novel to were me and another friend of his (from a writing website), and suddenly he was submitting it to four other people for critique. As soon as he sent it out, he told me he wished he hadn't done that, they weren't going to like it, etc. etc.

I felt bad... but then I also wondered and asked him:  If you can't submit your story to critiquers who legitimately want to help you improve and who are nice people, how will you submit it for publication?  Because that's the goal he's aiming for and is ultimately a much harder step to take.

I wanted to help him... but I didn't know what to say since submission doesn't scare me anymore.  In fact, I've lost count of how many people I've now shared my novel with--maybe 20+?--and I've had eight different drafts of it too?  Well, something like that.  But I know there are usually two reasons why people don't like submitting things for critique: they're afraid of having their idea stolen & they're afraid that their idea will be found lacking.

The idea that someone might plagiarize my story doesn't scare me -- there's only one person who has the power to shape that novel into what it should be, and that's me, the writer.  Even if people plagiarized my idea, they wouldn't know what edits I'd make, what themes are important to the story, etc. etc..  Maybe that's naive or too idealistic of me, but I think it's better to feel that way than to constantly worry about something over which I have little control.

As to the idea that my story disappoint others... Well, the only person who could again make me feel that way... is me.  I didn't always think like that, but about a year or two ago, I had asked two of my friends from college to take a look at my novel and give me a "harsh critique."  And harsh it was.  Comments like "Cactus? Does she have an extremely hairy, unshaven back? Is she growing horns? Small, numerous horns everywhere, that prickle her back?" (because I used 'prickly'), EWWWW. NO. WTF? Is she a fucking cannibal? (because I said she bit her nails so hard she drew blood), I thought her breasts were the ones making the promises to passerby (because she had been bent over, and I hadn't realized that would probably be a revealing position), and Dear Christina, There's this thing called subtlety adorned the page. Needless to say, I was pretty hurt by some of them.  I had asked for harshness--like something an editor might give me--but instead I had... almost a mocking tone.  I didn't think an editor would be so unprofessional about a critique.  Actually, it was more like an in-between: picking up lots of details but in a direct way that bespoke of our personal relationship, like they were trying joke with me about my story.

But I know my friends. If I told them that it (and their sarcasm) had felt like a mocking jeer, they would've been appalled and vehemently denied that as their intention. And yet that didn't stop me from not wanting to submit to them or really anyone again. I started doubting myself... But then, something miraculous happened a few weeks later.  I looked back at the critique and ignored the tone.  I took their advice and moved on.  Basically, the problem had less to do with the way they critiqued and more to do with me and how deeply attached I had become to my story.  I don't think it was a bad thing that I was attached to my story that much; I just think it masked the potential of the story.  It prevented me from improving and made me focus on the wrong thing. And because of my friends, I was able to step back and stop being frightened by submission. I could control the way I perceived each submission.

Critique partners can help you hone your craft... but they can also help you learn the right amount of attachment to your story.  I love my ideas, but when it comes to suggestions on my writing and whatnot, I now feel better equipped to evaluate their critiques with a level head, something that's invaluable to and appropriate for the story.  And more importantly, I can submit my novel without any regret.

Let your critique partners help you go from this:

SHITSHITSHIT.

To this:

WHAT A BRILLIANT SUGGESTION.
Thank you so much for helping me improve my story.

What do you think? Do you get the submission jitters? Would you want a harsh critique?