1. Although I've mentioned feeling grateful for the blogger community, mentioned how supportive bloggers are and how thankful I am to be one, sometimes I feel rather dissociated.
- Sometimes there is plagiarism, and whenever that happens, I feel shocked anew that someone would actually do that to another blogger. I'm sure many of you feel the same way, even if you and I have not yet been directly affected. If you are interested, the ladies at the Midnight Garden have made a button to create awareness of those hurt by plagiarism.
- Sometimes there are arguments that I just don't understand. For instance, I don't understand why people argue that a DNF review is not valid, or that certain review styles are not appropriate. Have any of you ever had someone make a small comment, maybe something about how they wished you had talked more about X and X, maybe about how you couldn't really judge the book if you'd read so little of it? Comments about what reviews *should* look or be like sadden me the most, because if we're not "professional" reviewers, why shouldn't we be allowed our own styles? I say this, but sometimes I wonder if I, too, have done this to another blogger. The truth is, hell, I probably have at some point, and that is disheartening in its own right.
- Sometimes it feels like I don't belong because of the cliques. This is understandable as some bloggers have been around for longer than others, have talked to each other more, maybe even met at a conference. Part of the reason why book blogging is so popular is because it connects us all through our mutual love of books, so naturally we'll cluster together. Still sometimes I feel sad because I wonder to myself: if I try to interact more, will it make a difference? You tell me: do you notice when someone is trying to interact with you more?
2. The more bloggers I follow on twitter as a part of my ongoing attempt to interact with the community, the more intimidated I feel about the entire prospect.
- I don't really have a list for this. I just like the way the bullet points look. (If you're a regular visitor of my blog, this may not surprise you lol).
- Anyway! The more people I follow, the more conversations I see happening, and the more I wonder: should I really *jump* in? I'm sure many of you have felt the same anxiety - it's twitter, it's group politics, it's many things all at once... yet make no mistake: a lot of book bloggers are friendly, and they don't seem to mind if others join the conversation, but it's likely that I--and maybe you--will overanalyze the situation regardless. I don't always know what to say so that they'll continue to feel comfortable in their conversation-which-now-includes-me. And if I've stopped them, that makes me nervous. None of us wants to feel like we've intruded. If you've had someone jump into conversation and felt a bit bothered, what do you think could have been done better? And if you're a frequent jumper, what would you say to someone like me?
3. I am a book blogger, and I forget how much effort goes into book blogging.
- There have been times when I have stopped posting as much because of college. Many of you have written about your evolution as bloggers, how you've had to cut back on posts for personal reasons. So, months ago, I had cut back to one post a week. Sometimes I've also scheduled a post only to realize, when I receive an email at around 3 p.m., that I *forgot* to write that post. Blank posts, fewer posts, half-hearted posts. Returning to blogging now reminds me of how much goes into scheduling and writing original posts, replying to comments, visiting other blogs and interacting with bloggers on the multiple sites you're asked to maintain (Goodreads, twitter, your blog, etc.). It's no wonder that people get co-bloggers. (Y'all are lucky!) Too bad I didn't have the foresight to name my site something general. (Moving to another site is too hard.)
- So, sometimes I ask myself: is it worth it? If I stopped blogging, would others notice? When I think about how much work goes into book blogging, a part of me wonders whether I would have spent that time better doing something else (i.e. getting better grades in college lol)... yet even as I ask myself this, I know that I've spent my time right. Hey, you're still reading this post, right? :)
At the end of the day, your experience is what you make. I am not going to stop blogging nor will I stop trying to carve a niche for myself in the community, but hey, I wouldn't be me if I didn't have some doubts. It says a lot about the book blogger community, the respect that I feel for y'all and the respect that I feel has been given to me, that I can post about such a topic and not worry that I will be taken the wrong way.
Do you share any of my doubts or relate to any of my confessions? Do you have confessions of your own that you'd like to share?